An E3 Course Meal

The Electronics Entertainment Expo this year was filled with surprises, speeches, and remakes, but everyone wants to know who is the real winner of E3. There’s no official “best in show” prize, but every media outlet picks one conference or game that outshine the rest. We here at Sticky Bunton have a slightly different take on the theme, and will be reviewing each conference as if they were meals. Bon appetit!

Bethesda Conference

Why can’t I stop eating?!

Bethesda had the very first conference of E3 and boy was it a doozy. I was an incredible five course meal with the soup and salad of Doom and Dishonored couple with aperitifs like The Elder Scrolls Legends. Everything led to the main course of Fallout 4, which was stunning to behold. Plated beautiful with gameplay trailers designed to showcase the meat of the game, then teasing the sense delicately with the smell of gunpowder and sound of another musical classic “Atom Bomb Baby” by the Five Stars. We don’t have to wait too long to bite in, with its release date being set for November of this year. Bethesda then left us with a Fallout Shelter complimentary dessert for all iOS users.

Microsoft Conference

I’ll take 20 of these even if it’s not good for me.

Microsoft had a a tough act to follow after Bethesda brought out a massive dinner party, but luckily their showcase was the next day, leaving us time to digest the previous nights meal, making us hungry for more, and, largely, Microsoft delivered a savory meal despite not being too surprising. It’s best to think of Microsoft as a large meaty bacon cheeseburger. It’s not anything you’ve not experienced before, but it’s still great to get back to. The most notable flavors on this sandwich was the Halo 5 Beef and the sharp and strong taste of Hololens cheese. Halo 5 looks like it’ll be a great addition to the franchise, having squad mechanics similar to Republic Commando, and will be the more theatrical, story driven of the 343 games. Hololens was simply stunning; however, the crowd was mixed on whether or not they wanted it on their burger.

Sony Conference

So many flavors, so little time.

Sony was a bit of a mixed plate, which isn’t a bad thing at all. it had so many flavors, textures, and tastes that I couldn’t be more excited for the next year of gaming. Horizon Zero Dawn and The Last Guardian were both surprising and welcome to the charcuterie plate they set before us. Yeah, Hitman and Deus Ex aren’t anything new, but sometimes we need something familiar to get us to look at a plate. That being said, Shenmue 3 … not sure who brought that, why they did, or even what it’s like, but I guess we’ll find out later.

Nintendo Conference

Mmmmmmm pasty oats … my favorite

I feel for Nintendo, I really do. Nintendo was my first game company and the SNES my first console, but Nintendo just had no idea what to give us this year, so they gave us leftover and cold cream of wheat from 5 years ago. It feels as if the soul of Nintendo went into their muppet into but not into any of their IP, which is not good at all considering that their IP is the only thing selling their consoles. I was excited for maybe one game and that was Mario Tennis. The rest seemed like cheap imitations of great games. Maybe Nintendo is in a holding pattern until their next console and will deliver some great titles. I hope so, but right now I have a bowl of porridge that congealing into bitter regret in buying into their hardware.

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