Teemo’s Shroom Poppers

Happy Halloween or All Saints Day, depending when I get this post out (Looking like it’s going to be a couple days late). Normally I’m particular about the clockwork timing of this syndication, but recent events and LCS Worlds have made it a bit more difficult to get this post done, even though the dish itself was done around the time Tahm Kench was fried. But luckily LCS World’s also meant more fantasy foods for you all to feast on.

You like what we throw on the stove. We know it.

Anyways, back to the kitchen and to the game League of Legends. There are two constants in League. Firstly, the subreddit is not useful unless you’re there to spit more venom than Cassiopeia and tobacco shop. Secondly, Teemo is Satan. I don’t mean metaphorically Satan, I mean honest to goodness straight from the fiery pits of hell Lucifer level Satan. From his obnoxious laugh to his noxious shrooms, he’s just flat out maddening to play against. Stealths, blinds, and speed boosts, he might as well be Big Boss with 2 eye patches and roller blades. I tried to cook his squirrelly butt, but he slowed me and ran off giggling about the scouts code. So we’re cooking his shrooms instead.

Crafting Ingredients:

Filling

  • 1 Tsp Cayenne Pepper
  • 1 Tsp Garlic
  • 1 Dash Black Pepper
  • Baby Bella Mushrooms (diced)
  • Pickles (diced)
  • Cheddar Cheese (shredded)

Dough

  • 2 Cups Flour
  • 1 Cup Water
  • 1 Egg

Player’s Guide:

If this recipe looks awfully familiar, it’s because the filling for this dish is the topping of the Tham Kench fish filet. I made the poppers and loved the filling so much that I wanted to try it with my filet. Worked wonders, and the rest, they say, is food history. Now crank that oven to 375˚F, we’ve got poppers to punch out

Just like with the Fried Kench Filet, we’re going to make the topping first. Take out a knife or a food processor and dice up the mushrooms and pickles. You can add the spices while they’re in the food processor, but if you’re dicing by hand, add the spices and cheese after your careful knife-work. Should look a bit like a salsa or relish at this point. I’d show you a picture of mine if my cell phone hadn’t reset and delete all my photos.

Moving onto the dough, add the flour and water together, and mix until you get a lovely dough ball. Toss some flour atop so it sticks less. Find a flat space, flour it evenly, and then roll out your dough into a large rectangle. Cut the flag of dough into squares, roughly 2″ to 2.5″ in width (and height… geometry). Place a dollop of the mix into the center. Fold the corners over the dollop, and press it into the middle of the opposite corner. Pressing is important, because if the dough isn’t sealed, you’ll end up with the filling leaking out the sides. If you’re lucky it’ll look pretty, or at least like the one below.

IMG_20150926_192018361

Dough and me don’t exactly get along, but trust me when I say this treats are awesome when they come out of the oven. Be we should put them in there first. Grab that egg, beat it and coat each completed popper with the egg wash (it’ll brown better this way) and sprinkle with a bit of salt if you want. Place in the oven for about 30-45 minutes or until they turn golden brown. If they do start leaking, don’t fret, they ones that leak are still tasty, just not cheesy. Give those ones to your hate neighbors or coworkers.

IMG_20150926_194947329

There you have it! Teemo’s Shroom Poppers. Now head out and giggle evilly as your friends seek out the milk to quench the spicy burns you’ve given them, only to know that nothing can cleanse the horror that is Teemo! … *coughs* So when should we talk cupcakes?

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